The Crazy Fiery Wild One

Today is day 19! They say it takes 21 days to break any habit, so I guess I'm almost in the clear?? Honestly though I already do feel such a change in my state of mind. My last date was April 28th, and the last time I slept with someone was April 25th. Neither experience was anything to write home about... if anything I think both helped push me towards the decision to just cut that all out of my life for now. I just had these moments where it was like I don't actually want to be here... why am I doing this? I know part of it was wanting a distraction... to have other things to think about so that I wouldn't think about Him or ruminate over the Sailor already having moved on or wondering how the Lumberjack is doing and if things are working out with his ex... or even if Mountain Man still thinks of me. Just because the Sailor bought a place with someone doesn't mean I need to be rushing that aspect of my life...Mountain Man lives in fucking Alaska so that's ju...

Woo! Conquered my first weekend of celibacy! This endeavor of mine if going to be quite hard but I truly believe making this commitment and promise to myself is exactly what I need to ensure that I learn to value myself and stop seeking validation from men. At 6:00pm last Thursday, I decided that my first day of celibacy couldn't be a more appropriate day to get my next tattoo. My buddy, whom we'll refer to as the Burdman, will always say to me when I'm being reckless and impulsive to "Lock it Up". So a skeleton key with a heart is my symbol for locking it up. I'm gonna get my shit together, and keep my heart to myself for one whole year. I'm going to really make sure I make myself a priority because there's never been a time in my life where I was. Coming from a divorced family, and then having siblings who are a decade plus my junior, I grew up fast and have always had this sense of obligation towards all of them. Moving away to San Diego w...

Hellooooo!!! Today is the first day of the year of me! I am 25 and just received my divorcee decree yesterday. Met my husband when I was 19 in 2008. Engaged at 21. Married at 23. I left my husband July 11th, 2014. Six years with someone is a good chunk of time, and even though it was my decision to leave, divorce is heart breaking. Ending things with anyone is heart breaking and the sense of loss is sometimes overwhelming because you are literally ending life as you know it and embarking into the scary unknown. Some days are harder than others, but mostly I know that whatever is ahead is better than what I'd previously resigned myself for. Not even a month after deciding to end things, I got tangled up with a married friend. My self esteem was at an all time low and he had been a good friend for two years, someone I respected and valued. After years of not being made a priority and being made to feel shitty about myself, I fell hard for this man that was "choos...