The Crazy Fiery Wild One

Letting go and moving forward is hard... I'm having a tough time this month and especially this week with memory triggers and wishing things were different. Tomorrow will mark a year since I lost my dog. That day was the worst day I've ever had and was the catalyst for me giving up on trying to do the right thing and just letting things play out with Him. This weekend will mark a year since he kissed me the very first time. I've never experienced a kiss quite like that one. There had been such a build up and the forbidden aspect of it all and my desperation to just escape what was happening in my life. That kiss was magic. Standing in the lifeguard boat, not another soul on the beach, the moon huge and bright and the sound of the ocean in the background. We were embracing each other against the wind that had started to pick up, we'd been huddled in the boat and decided it was late and time for me to get to my step mother's shore house. His arms were around me and ...

I should be doing real work... I only have tomorrow before I'm basically MIA for two weeks as bootcamp for school starts!!! OMG It's finally HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH! I got my student ID card yesterday. I'm more than stoked about the whole thing. YAY SCHOOL! I just had my first sanctioned tournament as a frisbee player! And when I played, I played well! Things with Phoenix are pretty great, we have our first real date tomorrow and I'm very excited.  I'm still not entirely sure how invested in him I am, but I do know I wouldn't just randomly decide I didn't want to see him anymore, it would take me not being happy in our relationship for things to end even if someone from past crept up. So overall life is pretty baller, but that doesn't seem to keep the sad sads away when memories of Him are triggered. A year ago today was when we had Walleye and Cider and he found out I was getting divorced. A year ago today birdman asked near the end of the n...